(no subject) [Dreaming of lime gerbils in a cheese sauce]

When I was 13 and just starting to explore my sexuality I read a book called "Everything you wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask."

For the most part it was the usual 1960s-1970s era sex-ed book but the chapter on homosexuality was ... criminal.

It was *incredibly* homophobic. No hope, everything was terrible. It said things like queers will molest anyone they can, spend their lives masturbating in the back of porn theaters, etc etc etc. Based on that description I *knew* that couldn't possibly be me so I must not have been gay, right?

It set me back *years* in acceptance of who I am. It wasn't like I had any counter-examples. This was the late 1970s and we had no good role models.

This is one of the reasons I'm out now, so kids can see someone who is successful and not living the way that book says. Being a counter example is very important to me.

When the book was reprinted in the early 2000s, they updated everything else but left that chapter pretty much intact.

*If* you share this book with a younger or questioning person, make damn sure you discuss the reality Vs what that book says. Better yet, don't share the book with anyone else.

July

Sun	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat
	1	2	3	4	5	6
7	8	9 1	10	11	12	13
14	15	16	17	18	19	20
21	22	23	24	25	26	27
28	29	30	31

Sun

Mon

Tue

Wed

Thu

Fri

Sat

Yikes, I remember that book. My mother gave it to me, but I did not give it to my own child.

[link] [reply]

I found it at a friend's house. I don't think my parents ever knew I read it. I didn't discuss it with anyone, not even the friend.

Good on you for not passing the evil on.

[link] [parent] [reply]

My first lover read it too, and we discussed (parts of) it at the time. When we discussed that book again a decade ago, with respect to our both being parents of teens, he specifically pointed out what he called the "gays are deviants" part of the book as especially mistaken.

It's evil is pernicious, to say the least. I lost a lot of time, opportunity, and growth to it. Didn't date, just waited for "the right girl to come along". That never happened, of course.

I am so glad that parts of the world have gotten so much better and more open now. It's chilling to think of growing up gay in Russia, the balkans, or anywhere in North Africa (or several other hotspots of hatred, like the US South).

And since we had grown up in the South in the Seventies, I was thrilled to hear that he'd finally shaken that particular prejudice -- at least to some degree. When we were in high school, he didn't realize how many of my male friends were gay, and I kept their secrets from him.

I am so sorry your early life was blighted by that book, but so glad you ultimately prevailed over its attempt to define you.

I'm glad your friend got past it too.

Parents, don't let your children grow up to be homophobes or transphobes or... well, 'phobes.