Dreaming of lime gerbils in a cheese sauce

As a gay man coming of age in the early-mid 1980s (and out of the closet in the very late 80s) AIDS was The Thing that was always there, always present, always lurking. It was the question that dared not be asked but that _had_ to be asked. It was something you had to be cognizant of and always take precautions against.

The first time I was tested it took 3 weeks to get the result. Those were, without a doubt, the most miserable three weeks of my life. I spent the entire time worried and wondering and pondering the "what if?"s. What would I do? Who, if anyone, in my family would I tell? Could I even face my family? Sure, I was always careful but with something like that can you ever be careful _enough_? I still have those fears every time I am tested, though thankfully it now only takes about 20 minutes to get the initial results.

Like everyone, I've lost people to it along the way. There are holes in my life that will never be filled. There are holes I don't even know about because I never met the person who would/could have been significant to me.

As treatment gets better and life expectancy gets higher I sense a lot of complacency not only in the GBLT world but also in the straight world. People seem to think it doesn't matter anymore.

It. Matters. It matters more than I can ever hope to express.

Do yourself and everyone you care for ... and those you will care about in the future a favor. Learn about it. Behave responsibly.